Recipe to Being a Perfect Villainous Sidekick

A warm hello all you lovely readers. Today, BollyCurry has turned into a chef to bring you a very important recipe in becoming the perfect villainous sidekick. Every ingredient in this recipe is critical and if you ever wish to be the perfect villainous sidekick, please ensure that you have all the below ingredients in the exact amounts.

First and foremost is the look of this recipe. To look like a villainous sidekick, you need to have a ten centimetre long moustache, a French beard or a scruffle, short and pointy hair, and a malicious sneer. Please note the most important part of this look is the sneer. You can do without the facial hair as long as you have a sneer that forces people to detest you.

Once you have the perfect look, add in the following ingredients. In a bowl, mix five tablespoons of fake evil laughter. It doesn't matter what the situation is, you have to be able to laugh evilly, no matter how fake it sounds. If an evil cackle does not escape your throat, then we're sorry but you're not good enough to be any villain's sidekick and you'll simply be kicked to the side (pun intended).

Next, add three tablespoons of remorseless and un-opinionated behaviour. If your boss tells you to murder someone, you murder. If your boss tells you to kidnap someone, you kidnap. Whatever your boss tells you to do, you do. If you think about it or show any remorse, then your boss will tell someone else to get rid of you. In simple terms, even if it's your own mother, you do what your boss tells you to do without the slightest hint of regret and you're good to go!

The bowl needs two tablespoons of patience as well. You may not have much to say but you are important nonetheless. You need to wait for your boss to say "jaa usse maar" (go kill him/her) or "Samba, sarkar ne humpe kitne ka inaam rakha hai?" (Samba, what is the reward on my head?) and only then are you allowed to speak. So be patient our upcoming villainous sidekick, you'll get your chance!

The fourth ingredient is fear of the hero, which you can add as per your taste. Some sidekicks aren't afraid at all, even if the hero hands their death on a plate, while others shiver at their mere sight, literally and figuratively. Your boss usually wants someone who isn't afraid at all, but as long as you have the rest of the ingredients, they will willingly overlook this ingredient. So go ahead and add fear as per your taste. But remember, too much fear could also lead to your downfall.

Next add a pinch of your intelligence and a just a tinge of questions. The rule of thumb is to never use your brain or question your boss, but sometimes your boss needs your intellect and your questioning tactics, especially when it comes to torturing your arch enemy: the hero or his near and dear ones. You are more than welcome to say "Boss, uski Maa ko utha kar laate hain" (Boss, let's kidnap his mother) or "uske pyaar aur parivaar ko maar dete hain"(let's kill his love and family). Not only will you be honoured for these suggestions, but when you're killed, your comrades will be martyred alongside you.

A slight hint of comedy is a must, especially if you're a villain's sidekick from recent times. What's more important is displaying this at the right time. No villain wants their sidekick to be funny when the situation is dire, but if you're facing the hero alone, you're more than welcome to be humourous and ask to be forgiven. Heroes will naturally forgive any sidekick who can even make them smile. Least it will do is give you a higher percentage of chance of surviving at the end of the movie.

Finally, the last ingredient on our list is four tablespoons of loneliness. You must not have any family, friends or love outside your boss's realm because if you do, they will be killed mercilessly, which will automatically demote you from sidekick to your boss' enemy. This is absolutely necessary, without loneliness you're bound to rebel and your pinch of brain and questioning will become many tablespoons of brain and questioning, thus removing you from the prestiged position.

Once you have all these ingredients in a bowl, remember to mix well and then pour into your mold. Voila, you made it! You will now take the shape of a villainous sidekick who will then appear in every other film with every other hero and will die in every possible way.

Writer: Shreya S.

Editors: Ritchelle C. and Jenifer A.

Graphics: Saraa K.